Christmas
FAQ
(Frequently
asked questions)

Q: Why do reindeer have red noses?
A: They are not equipped with ABS and thus tend
to bump into things on
slippery surfaces. This is why Santa is often
seen with a red nose (the sleigh doesn't have an airbag, either).
Q: Why does Santa use Elves?
A: There is no trade union for Elves. They're
easy to exploit.
Q: Is there really a Mrs. Claus?
A: Highly unlikely. Since Santa is surrounded
by male figures (Elves, reindeer named Rudolph, Donner, Blitzen etc.) his
sexual preference seems to tend towards homosexuality. He is said to have
some problems finding a gerontophile/zoophile Elf for a threesome with
a reindeer, though.
Q: Does Santa really live on the North Pole?
A: Uncertain. However, rumor has it that the story
of Santa and the North Pole has nothing to do with the Arctic, but that
Santa is known to frequently ask the Elves and reindeer if he can shove
his pole up north.
Obviously, this is related to the cryptic description
"up where the sun don't shine", which applies to both the North Pole and
assholes in general.
Q: Does Santa really work all year round making
toys?
A: Get real! Check the box in which the Christmas
gift came! Does it say "Made on the North Pole"? ("Made in China", more
likely)
Q: Then what does he DO all year?
A: Uncertain. Chasing Elves and reindeer, most
likely. Maybe he spends his winters in Florida.
Q: Is the story about the little angel
and the Christmas tree true?
A: Without a doubt. Santa has a temper and can
develop a nasty attitude (he doesn't take stress too well).
Q: If so, why do the little angels on Christmas
trees look happy (given the fact they have a tree up theirs)?
A: Little angels are known to be kinky.
Q: Do the polar bears on the North Pole cause
Santa any trouble?
A: Not since Santa equipped the guard Elves with
M-61 submachine guns.
Q: So Santa is basically a gun-crazy, homosexual,
angry old man who exploits little Elves, fools around all day, and drives
around in a sleigh that lacks basic security measures?
A: You forgot about the bestiality thing.
Christmas
jokes
Bargain
gifts:-)
Remembering
friends
Angel
on the tree
Silent
Night
ICQ
messages
Jokes
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