I remember growing up from
a young boy and becoming a man.
I'm sitting here in my room
and thinking of all the things
that have happened in my
life all over again.
I remember so many of my
past experiences
most of them come to me
so very clear
and others often bring me
so many tears.
I have so often wondered
how come I have had so many fears.
Now I know that I have been
living these fears for so many years.
Now that I have grown up
I'm still hit very hard by my past.
I have so often sat and
wondered why these bad memories continue to last.
I feel so very weak for
I'm not strong enough to overcome my so many fears.
So very often I have broken
down and cried so many tears throughout my years.
I'm now a grown man and still
living with memories of a sixteen year old boy's life.
I see everything but I can
also hear the young boy's calls for help,
the voices are not very
far away any more their very near.
It's as if this young boy
is right here.
Why me I quietly think to
myself what am I to do?
I haven't even the slightest
clue.
My eyes filled with so many
tears.
I'm unable to see clear
anymore,
but I just heard the slamming
of a door.
Now I can see someone is
walking across the floor.
There's so very much confusion
going on in this room,
I wipe the tears from my
eyes
and I hear the sounds from
a very large clock
in the background but in
an instant it has stopped.
It's so very hard to tell
what time it is could it be almost noon.
Once again my mind has started
to focus
on the figure that I had
seen before
which had went and locked
the door.
To tell you the truth I
can't stand to see anymore.
The boy has finally turned
around
where I can now see his
face then the tears
begin to fill my eyes once
again for this boy is I.
The boy is staring at this
other figure, which is standing there.
It's as if I know this awful
stare.
It's not very hard to see
that this young boy is truly full of fear.
To tell you the truth I believe
that something very wrong
is about to happen here.
I can now see that this
other figure
which is in the room with
this young boy is a man.
The man is beginning to
approach the young boy.
It's as if this man had
this all planned.
The man that's in the room
with the young boy
is grabbing a hold of the
young boy's arms.
I feel so very helpless
for I can't stop
the young boy from being
harmed.
The man is so very much
bigger than the young boy
it's no wonder the young
boy looks so alarmed.
The boy looks so very confused
but at the same time I can
hear his calls for help.
It's as if I'm the only
one,
which can hear the young
boy's calls for help.
Well it would be so very
difficult to say what else took place here today.
The abuse is now over, but
that day will always live inside of me.
I just wish that one day
the Lord above would hear
my plea
and one day set me free
from these bad memories
of growing up.
Johnny Cash Eaton
Copyright © 2001 Johnny Eaton
She
sits on a rock
Listen
to the words of a child
I
got flowers today
Love
me now
Why
is mommy crying
Stories
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