Memories Of Growing Up


 

I remember growing up from a young boy and becoming a man.
I'm sitting here in my room and thinking of all the things
that have happened in my life all over again.
I remember so many of my past experiences
most of them come to me so very clear
and others often bring me so many tears.

I have so often wondered how come I have had so many fears.
Now I know that I have been living these fears for so many years.
Now that I have grown up I'm still hit very hard by my past.
I have so often sat and wondered why these bad memories continue to last.
I feel so very weak for I'm not strong enough to overcome my so many fears.
So very often I have broken down and cried so many tears throughout my years.

I'm now a grown man and still living with memories of a sixteen year old boy's life.
I see everything but I can also hear the young boy's calls for help,
the voices are not very far away any more their very near.
It's as if this young boy is right here.
Why me I quietly think to myself what am I to do?
I haven't even the slightest clue.

My eyes filled with so many tears.
I'm unable to see clear anymore,
but I just heard the slamming of a door.
Now I can see someone is walking across the floor.

There's so very much confusion going on in this room,
I wipe the tears from my eyes
and I hear the sounds from a very large clock
in the background but in an instant it has stopped.
It's so very hard to tell what time it is could it be almost noon.

Once again my mind has started to focus
on the figure that I had seen before
which had went and locked the door.
To tell you the truth I can't stand to see anymore.

The boy has finally turned around
where I can now see his face then the tears
begin to fill my eyes once again for this boy is I.
The boy is staring at this other figure, which is standing there.
It's as if I know this awful stare.
It's not very hard to see that this young boy is truly full of fear.

To tell you the truth I believe
that something very wrong is about to happen here.
I can now see that this other figure
which is in the room with this young boy is a man.
The man is beginning to approach the young boy.
It's as if this man had this all planned.

The man that's in the room with the young boy
is grabbing a hold of the young boy's arms.
I feel so very helpless for I can't stop
the young boy from being harmed.
The man is so very much bigger than the young boy
it's no wonder the young boy looks so alarmed.

The boy looks so very confused
but at the same time I can hear his calls for help.
It's as if I'm the only one,
which can hear the young boy's calls for help.
Well it would be so very difficult to say what else took place here today.
The abuse is now over, but that day will always live inside of me.

I just wish that one day
the Lord above would hear my plea
and one day set me free
from these bad memories of growing up.

Johnny Cash Eaton

Copyright © 2001 Johnny Eaton

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