I cannot see.

  I cannot pee.

  I cannot chew.

 I cannot screw.

My memory shrinks.

 My hearing stinks.

 No sense of smell.

  I look like hell.

My body's drooping.

  Got trouble pooping.

So, the Golden Years have come at last?

Well, the Golden Years can kiss my arse!
 
 

Do you know someone else who fits this description????  Go on, be a devil:-)))